Mum was doing pretty okay a week ago and we thought the chemo and radiotherapy sessions were not causing much side effects on her. But her condition deteriorated suddenly this week and I sense strongly that she’s suffering in silence. There were times she couldn’t even speak because she was paralysed with pain.

I always feel that hope is important. But I’m not sure how to create hopes when mum was diagnosed with advanced cancer. We had nearly lost our courage and strength to face the overwhelming changes, stress and disappointments. Since the day mum fell ill, I have been praying to God even if I have questioned about his existence. Is that a sign of weakness and desperation for hopes?

Strangely, I had a weird dream few days ago. I have always wondered if God is a spiritual higher being who answers to prayers or a character that is imagined by the curious people who needed answers or the weak-minded people who needed strength. Friends and relatives have tried providing answers but I think it is funny when God seems comprehensible.

If the dream is a subtle sign of God’s existence, thank you for giving us hopes.